


In The Dark

by stopmopingstarthoping



Series: When I Let Go Of Your Heart [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-22 19:04:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16603790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stopmopingstarthoping/pseuds/stopmopingstarthoping
Summary: In small moments, Ignis agonizes over what he can't know.





	In The Dark

Grey. The color of storm-ridden skies, the color that blended into blue to make a unique hue that Ignis knew so well. A color he could see sparkle and flash in his mind if he closed his eyes for just a moment.

The color of the soft scrap of coeurl pelt that Ignis kept carefully tucked away. It had been pressed into his hands, fervently, just before he left. Over Ignis’ own protest, his head shake, his insistence that things weren’t this dire, didn’t need to be this final.

Nyx had known better.

He’d sensed it, maybe; who knew. The newspaper sitting on the table next to him taunted Ignis with all the things it didn’t say, all the information left out, everything that would remain unknowable to him for the foreseeable future.

Ignis leaned forward, hands on his knees, for a long moment, before picking up the newspaper and returning to the room to talk with the others.

Guilt, cresting like a wave. At the finality of the news for Noct, and then of course for Gladio, at the feverish sweaty grip Ignis held on his own lack of certitude, clenched deep in his secret heart.

Protectiveness, surging up in its wake. A desire for control, for a way forward. To be able to shape some small part of their fate while so much had been ripped away from them. 

The rest - the rest was his alone, and he shoved it to the side until later. Pushed it away to avoid thinking about it too hard. He didn’t want to let himself puzzle it out, because he knew the answer he’d find.

Gone.

Like Clarus, like the rest of the Glaive. If the city was destroyed, they should all be gone. They’d want it that way.

Still.

He had time, hours and hours later, after the others had pushed through the raw hollow blankness enough to find sleep. Ignis didn’t turn on a light - didn’t need to, didn’t want to wake anyone. In the darkness, Ignis took out the small scrap of fur and ran it between his fingers, chest twisting in pain. He didn’t know if it hurt more to give up hope or to let it fester and swell, torturing him with possibilities. 

He’d never needed to know something unknowable so badly. He’d always been able to find answers, dig deeper, make a solution, see a path.

This, though - there  _ was  _ a truth, hiding on the other side of this suspension, this not knowing. The uncertainty was tearing him apart. And yet he couldn't give it up.

That morning, Ignis had sent an idiotic, useless text. As if there were any towers, any charging ports left in the city. He'd sent it anyway.

He’d sent another one after dinner.

He’d probably keep sending them.

Ignis bowed his head in the dark and allowed his chest to collapse in on itself, if only for a moment. He felt his face break and twist, keeping things silent to preserve what little sleep the other three had been able to get.

Ignis heard a small, muffled noise from the tent, and his head pulled up instinctively. 

He dashed errant wetness from his cheeks and shoved the small scrap back in his bag, burying his searing emotions along with it. 

Collecting himself, Ignis readied a calm hand and a soft voice. He ducked back into the tent to do what he could. 

**Author's Note:**

> This short drabble occupies the space between [Disarmed](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1100469) and [Time, Truth, Hearts](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1184936), and I may add more fics to this middle period if my poor heart can take it.
> 
> Written for day 4 of Ignyx Week 2018, prompt "charcoal grey."
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Come chat with me about these wonderful boys on Tumblr @stopmopingstarthoping or Twitter @stopmopingstart.


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